I Hate Dragons
I’m looking up in the sky right now and all I can see are trees. All I can see are birds.
I don’t see any dragons at all. I can see a nice sunset. I see flocks of lorikeets off in the distance doing some standard flying maneuvres that we’ve all seen before.
Very interesting how the clouds in the sky are a shade of white and the sky behind them is blue. And the dragons, if there were any, would be grey or green.
Some birds are very territorial and sort of bark at other birds when they get too close. I don’t know how they think they can own bits of the sky, but they’re birds. Feathered evil creatures.
The only dragons that we have are bearded dragons. Those large lizard things. Scary.
But there are no dragons. If you want to see dragons that can fly you have to watch cartoons or special documentaries about Shadow Hunters.
Of course if there were actual flying dragons they would spend a lot of time being sucked into the engines of jumbo jets or into the blades of a helicopter.
Were we promised dragons on Back To The Future by Michael J Fox?
No we were not.
It would be fun to own a radio controlled dragon for getting down to the mall. You get on the back of your dragon and move the joystick to the left or right or forwards or backwards..or upwards or downwards…Why limit yourself?
A drone is like a pet dragon that will never attack you.
Actually, when a drone attacks it can make a pretty serious scratch. They can chew through your skin in a matter of hours. That’s why I recommend you get a drone where the propellers are covered.
Let’s not forget the time that Enrique Iglesias was attacked by his own drone and injured two fingers. It’s always sad when a musician hurts their fingers. And that was after he made that video with Whitney Houston. Poor guy.
A drone attack can be pretty ferocious.
Of course some dragons can breathe fire and some can breathe ice. It almost like a kind of gentle racism. Maybe one is a Republican and one is a Democrat.
As of this time there is no way to sellotape an eagle to a large lizard while he smokes a cigarette.
You can watch the Dr Doolittle movie over and over again and you will never see any mention of dragons.